South Park Does the 100 Theme Challenge
by StudentofDust
Summary: As you can probably already tell, this will be a series of oneshots, all of varying lengths, using the 100 Themes Challenge. Each short story will focus on one South Park character or pairing. Liberal doses of slash throughout. Rated just to be safe.
1. Introduction

A/N: Here comes the part that everyone skips over anyways…

_I'm doing this series of short oneshots based off the basic 100 Theme Challenge. Apparently, there's five different versions of the Challenge, but since I'm Fat-n-Lazy, I just chose the first one I found. Each oneshot will focus on one character from the _South Park _universe; obviously, some characters will eventually be reused, considering there's a tad bit less than 100 characters in _South Park_. I'm going to try to use some of the lesser-thought about characters like Big Gay Al or Mr. Slave, but the oneshots will mainly center around the main characters._

_So, as always, read and review (positive comments are always appreciated), but more importantly- enjoy._

_Oh, and not like you care, but pretty much none of the stories will be 550 words or less, as I'd originally promised (not counting the Author's Notes)._

**Introduction (Kenny)**

(_A/N: This one is AU.)_

South Park wasn't known for very much; it was just a small little town in Colorado, not many people even knew it existed. And certainly nobody cared about South Park Elementary School; after all, it was a bunch of rowdy little kids running around, trying to avoid the "weird" teachers like the openly gay Mr. Garrison or the art teacher, Mrs. Dreibel.

But, today was special for three young boys. Today, they started the first grade.

"Come on, guys!" whined Eric Cartman. "I wanna get in there!"

"We can't," replied Stan Marsh, who was standing next to Cartman. "The teacher's having a conference with Kyle's mom."

"Why, I do not know," remarked Kyle Broflovski, who had just come back from using the restroom. Just then, they heard a muffled voice beside them.

All three turned to see who it was. Their visitor was a small boy about their age, except for one obvious difference- the child was wearing an orange parka, that almost completely obscured his face. They could only see his eyes.

"What'd you say?" asked Stan.

"More importantly," said Cartman, "who are you?"

He muffled something that sounded remotely like "Kenny", but no one could tell for sure. So, they all just settled for turning away and staring at the door again, leaving him to just stand there, dejected.

A minute later, the door opened, and Mr. Garrison poked his head out. "Alright, children, you can come in now." Some grumbling could be heard from amongst the new first-graders; they were still wanting it to be summer. But they all filed into the classroom, as if they had a choice in the matter.

As usual, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman sat together. They'd spent practically all of last year as friends, and they didn't plan on changing that any time soon.

"Alright, children," said Mr. Garrison, and the kids quieted down. "We have some new students in our class this year, so I'd like to ask each one to come up here and give a brief introduction of themselves- doesn't have to be very long. First, I'd like… Kenny McCormick to come up here."

Kenny got up out of his seat, and went up to the front of the room.

"Hey, that's the kid we met outside," whispered Kyle.

"He looks poor," remarked Cartman, which earned him a kick from Stan.

Kenny spoke up; due to the hood covering his mouth, though, his words were a bit hard to hear. "Uh… hi. My name is Kenny, and… I live right across the street from the school. I don't really know anyone here, but… I want to make some new friends this year…" He was silent for a second, then walked back to the rows of desks.

"… sit here?"

Kenny looked, to see who had spoken to him; it turned out to be Cartman.

"What'd you say?"

"I said, do you want to sit here? With us?"

Kenny thought for a second, then smiled (though he doubted anyone could tell). "Sure." He went and got his bookbag, then sat in the seat next to Cartman. As Mr. Garrison began to speak, Kenny had one last thought: _Maybe… I've actually made a friend._


	2. Love

_A/N: Here we go, with part two in the series._

**Love (Wendy)  
**

Everyone knows I love him. It's not like I really try to hide it, anyways. I've known that we like each other for quite awhile now. But what I really hate is that people think we're too young to love each other.

"You're just kids," they say. "You can't even know what love means, much less know that you're in it."

Those people can go screw themselves.

Maybe it's because they themselves haven't known love. Because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can't put words to love. Love isn't something that you can say what it is, or it isn't. Love can't even be measured by human standards.

How can you tell whether you're in love? You'll know. No one else can tell you that you're in love with someone, or you're not in love with them- you just know in your heart that you are. And you won't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Me? I love Stan Marsh. He's just the greatest guy I've ever met. He's cute, funny, charming… And he knows what love is like. I know that he knows. I know, I just said no one can tell you if you're in love or not. But whenever I look into his eyes, whether it be a stare or just a glance- I can see. His love for me shows, in the sparkle in his eye.

And sure, we've had our fights. Who doesn't? And yeah, we've broken up a million times. But that's only because I think that what we have is perfect, and I don't want to ruin it for the both of us. That's all.

He tells me every night, before I go to sleep. He tells me in the notes that he writes me. He tells me when he defends me, in front of his friends. And sometimes, he tells me when he's not even saying any words. He could just look at me, and I'll know- he loves me.

I've gone out with other boys, yes. Some were from our class, some not. And don't get me started on Eric Cartman… Oh, God, was that a mistake. Even though he was absolutely heart-broken when I broke up with him, I honestly didn't feel a prick of remorse. My feeling (if you could even call it that) for him had passed; I was moving on.

But I can never move on from him. No matter what I say or do, I can't deny that I love him. Not that I want to. Not in the least bit. Ours is a relationship that no one can take away from us. That's what love is- it's a bond that cannot be broken by easy means. I love him, he loves me. That's all that we care about. Nothing else.

Not even when he throws up all over me. Do you know why I don't care about that? Because, somehow, I know, that through it… he's just telling me he loves me.


	3. Light

_A/N: Hello, all. I'm back, this time with a nice little oneshot about Kyle, and one of his first camping adventures._

**Light (KylexKenny)**

He simply lay there, shivering in the cold. The rain was beating down on the outside of the tent; it'd gone on forever, at least it had in the mind of our red-haired friend. He rolled over, not that it really mattered much; no matter what position he was in, it was still cold as hell in that tent. Plus, the tent had sprung a leak, which Kyle hadn't noticed yet; water was slowly but surely seeping into the tent., filling the bottom with rainwater.

_Why the hell did I even agree to come on this stupid trip?_ Kyle asked himself. It had been Cartman's idea, which right away should have given him a clue that something was going to go wrong. But, he'd ignored that little voice inside his head that told him to stay away, and had agreed to go with Cartman and Kenny (Stan was off at a friend's birthday party, and thus couldn't make it). _Stan's the lucky one- he gets to spend the night in a warm, cozy house- not out here in a tent that's probably leaking…_

He heard laughter coming from the tent beside him, the one that currently housed Cartman and Kenny. He leaned up against the tent, straining to hear what they had to say.

"You think Kyle's alright?" Kenny asked, in his usual muffled voice.

"Aaw, he's fine," replied Cartman. "Besides, his tent only has a little leak…"

Kyle could hear a small pop, then an "Ow!" He smiled, then heard Cartman say, "What the hell was that for?"

"You invited him out here, and gave him the tent _that you knew had a leak in it_?!"

"Relax, Kenny," said Cartman, a bit defensively. "It's nothing big-"

"Do you even care?" asked Kenny. "He might be freezing in there, soaking wet, not able to do a damn thing about it!" Kyle heard a zip, then another. What happened next, he didn't know, for he took the most inopportune time to fall asleep…

The next morning, Kyle awoke, the light of the morning sun shining in on him. He opened his eyes, then shut them quickly- he'd forgotten he was facing the window, and had become quite blinded by the sun's direct rays. He shifted slightly, and became aware of a weight pressing up against his back. Kyle rolled over, and was shocked to find Kenny asleep beside him, his arms still around Kyle's waist.

_What the hell is Kenny doing in here?_ Kyle asked himself. Then, he remembered Kenny leaving his tent the night before. _Did he come in here… to keep me warm?_ Kyle simply smiled, and lay there on the cold, wet tent floor, breathing in one with his friend beside him.


	4. Dark

_A/N: Enjoy. (Yeah, that's all I have to say- enjoy.)_

**Dark (Cartman) **

"You're kidding, right?" Stan stared at his best friend in disbelief. "Please tell me that was a joke."

"It'd be a sick joke if it was," replied Kyle, as he and Stan walked down the hallway. "But it isn't- my mom is forcing me to invite Cartman to the sleep-over tonight."

"But why, though? Does your mom even _know _Cartman? Does she know what he can do?"

They stopped at Kyle's locker, and he bent down to unlock the door. "Yeah, Mom's met Cartman before. And she wants us to 'become better friends with him' too." Stan kicked the locker door, and it finally opened. "Stupid locker…"

"He's going to ruin everything, I bet," remarked Kyle.

"Who is?" asked Kenny, who had just joined them.

"Cartman. Kyle's mom is forcing him to invite Cartman to the sleep-over tonight."

"What?" came Kenny's muffled exclamation. Just then, they heard a voice from behind them- "Who's getting invited where?"

They all turned to see Cartman standing there. "Who's getting invited where, I asked."

Kyle shut his locker and walked over to Cartman. "Listen, fat-ass… you're invited to my sleep-over tonight, but only because my mom said I had to-"

"Are you serious? Why the hell would I want to go to your faggy sleep-over?"

"I don't know, but my mom practically said to force you to come."

Cartman thought for a second, then spoke up: "Fine. What time do I have to be there?"

"Meet at my house at seven, okay? Now, move- I need to go find Butters."

--

Seven o'clock came too fast for Kyle and his friends. The three of them were sitting on the couch, Stan and Kyle with Guitar Hero controllers in their laps, Kenny asleep leaning against the back cushion.

"Where the hell is the fat-ass?" asked Kyle. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Goddammit, that's probably him…" Kyle went over to the door and opened it. Sure enough, there stood Cartman with a large bag of cheesy poofs.

"I got these for the party," said Cartman as he stepped past Kyle and into his house.

Kyle looked a bit taken aback. "Thanks, man." He tossed the Poofs onto the couch- at least he tried to. The bag ended up hitting Kenny in the face, which jolted him awake.

"What the…" he muttered, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Sorry, Kenny…" said Kyle, picking the bag up and taking it into the kitchen. By the time he got back, Stan was so far ahead of him in the song that Kyle's part just ended, and Stan kept going for the ten or so seconds he had left to play.

"What's next?" asked Stan, as he set down the controller.

"Time for bed, boys."

Everyone turned to look at Kyle's mom. "Come on, mom, they just got here…"

"You'll have plenty of time to do things tomorrow. Now off to bed, all of you."

The four grumbled softly, but headed up to their room.

"Alright guys," said Kyle, "I have everything set up in here. Stan and I will share a bed together-" (Stan began to blush furiously when Kyle said this) "-and Cartman and Kenny can sleep on the floor. I've got you two sleeping bags already."

"No problem," replied Kenny.

"So now that that's settled, we might as well hit the hay-"

"Your mom isn't going to come up here and check on us, is she?"

Kyle looked at Cartman, dead serious. "She might, and I don't want to get in trouble if she does. So let's just go to sleep, and we can do shit tomorrow."

They all lay down, and soon they were all fast asleep- all except for Cartman, who lay in his sleeping bag, staring up at the ceiling…

--

"Are you serious?"

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny sat around the kitchen table, munching on some Frosted Flakes. Kyle's mom had left to run some errands, and left the boys alone at the house.

"I'm dead serious, man," Kenny was saying. "He was all whimpering most of the night, saying how the creatures were going to come and eat him. Kept me awake for most of the night…"

Upon hearing this, they all burst into laughter; their laughing only increased as they saw Cartman walk into the kitchen.

"What's so damn funny?" asked Cartman, as he sat at the table and reached for the Frosted Flakes.

"We had no idea…"

"No idea what?"

Stan looked up at Cartman, a wide grin still on his face. "That you were afraid of the dark."

Cartman had begun to take a bite of his cereal, but when he heard this, he let his spoon fall into his bowl. _They know? Nah, they must be joking. Just play it off…_ "Me? Hell naw. What would I be afraid for?"

"The creatures… they might come get you…" They all laughed at Kenny's comment.

"We might just have to spread this around the school. Fat-ass Cartman, afraid of the dark…"

Cartman looked at Kyle, genuine fear in his eyes. "Please don't tell anyone."

Stan and Kyle looked at each other, then they both glanced at Kenny, who gave a slight nod. "Alright, fat-ass, we won't tell anyone, but you have to do whatever we say. Alright?"

"Fine, whatever," replied Cartman, slipping back into his nonchalant attitude. As he dipped his face into his bowl, the three of them looked at each other, grinning, with the same thought on their minds: _This is going to be fun…_


	5. Seeking Solace

_Yeah, another update is here. This is based at the very end of the "Super Fun Time" episode, right after Butters drags Cartman (finally) onto the bus, and lets go of his hand. Enjoy, everyone!_

* * *

**Seeking Solace (CartmanxButters)**

"There. I did it." Those were Butters' last words, before he collapsed up against the seat behind him; Mr. Garrison, Stan, and Kyle rushed forward to meet him.

"Are you alright?" asked Stan, actually looking concerned for Butters.

"Did you really hold his hand for _the whole time_?" asked Mr. Garrison, completely ruining the seriousness of the situation.

"Sure... sure did..." was Butters' weak reply.

"You're probably really tired out, aren't you, Butters? Stan, Kyle- help Butters get into a seat. We'll figure out what to do with Eric afterwards... probably stuff him in the trunk or something." This got a laugh out of everyone, even a weak one from Butters.

Stan and Kyle walked forward and stood next to Butters; each of them hooked an arm underneath Butters' armpits, and started dragging him towards the back of the bus. They finally got him into one of the seats, and moved him over to where he was next to the window.

"He probably doesn't want to sit next to Cartman," said Kenny, who had followed the two onto the bus. "I'll sit next to him."

"Good idea, Kenny," replied Kyle. "That way, me and Stan can sit together." He flashed a wink at Stan, whose face grew a very bright shade of red.

Kenny tried not to notice, though he was trying his hardest not to laugh. To try and get his mind off the situation, he sat down next to Butters and turned to talk to him. "So... how was it? Having to hold hands with Cartman and all..."

Butters looked up at Kenny, his eyes red with exhaustion. "Don't... tell anyone else... but... it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

Kenny was really surprised at this. "You're really brave, Butters. Braver than I am." He lightly touched Butters' hand, then hopped off the seat and went up front to speak to Mr. Garrison about something. In the short time he was gone, Butters closed his eyes, though he had no intention of going to sleep. Instead, he just wanted to be left alone, to drift off into thought... but especially, to not have to talk to anyone for the rest of the ride home.

So, he just started to think...

_You know, I guess what I said to Kenny was true- I didn't really mind having to hold Cartman's hand that entire time. You'd think, with all the shit he gives me, that I'd welcome any chance to get away from him, and loathe every second we have to be together._

_But that wasn't the case today, for some reason._

_I actually... liked holding his hand. It was... warm. Comforting. I know that sounds really weird, coming from someone as shy as me, but... I really like Cartman. I do._

_He's kind of an older brother to me, I guess. Someone I can hang out with, someone who teases me every once in awhile, but we still get along well..._

_I sure can't get that from my parents; they're either too busy to talk to me, or they're grounding me for some small little thing- most of them, things that I had no control over. Like when me, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle went to that Imaginationworld or whatever it was called- my parents grounded me because I didn't come home to help clean the basement..._

_That sucked. Big time._

_But, yeah... Cartman's cool. He may be a jack-ass at times, and yeah, his racist jokes really aren't that funny at all. But deep down inside, he really is a compassionate kid. And when you're alone out there in the world, like me, seeking solace in anyone I can find... someone like Cartman really _could_ be perfect for me..._

By this time, Butters really had fallen asleep, so he didn't notice Cartman sit down beside him (Kenny was off talking to Craig). Neither did he feel Cartman grab onto his hand and hold onto it tightly. And he sure didn't hear Cartman's almost inaudible whisper of "Thanks..."


	6. Break Away

_Yeah, I know, it's been freakin' forever since I've updated this story… Blame it on my ADD. Anyways, here's story no. 6._

_(Quick Note: This one's based off the events of "Guitar Queer-O".)_

**Break Away (Randy Marsh)**

"Hey, Dad, I'm home!!!"

Stan stepped into the doorway, pulling his key out of the lock. He pocketed the key, and closed the door behind him.

"You home?" he called out.

"Upstairs!!!" came his dad's reply.

Stan went to the refrigerator and grabbed a Coke out of it, before heading upstairs towards everyone's rooms.

"Where you at?" Stan asked.

"In your room."

Stan stopped, in shock. _What the hell is my dad doing in my room?_ A feeling of dread came over him, though, when he realized what he could be doing. Bounding up the stairs two at a time, Stan reached his room, and slowly opened the door just in time…

To see his dad launch into an insane guitar solo.

Randy looked over at Stan for a split second, saying, "Welcome home, son," before turning his attention back to the TV.

Stan shook his head in annoyance. "Dad…"

"Not now, Stan," replied Randy, "I'm almost finished with the song."

Stan sighed and waited a few more minutes, until Randy hit the last note, then spoke up: "Dad, we really need to talk."

"About what?" Randy asked, slipping the fake guitar off his shoulder.

"Don't you think you're playing Guitar Hero a _bit_ too much?"

Randy looked at Stan, like he'd sprouted a second head. "What makes you say that?"

"Well… you were playing it when I left for school this morning, and you're still playing it now… Didn't you have to work today?"

Randy looked at his watch, jaw dropping. "Is it really that late?"

"Yeah, Dad, it is."

Randy shrugged, and picked up the controller again. "Well, no sense in going to work now, when I'd be getting off in a few hours. You wanna join me?"

Stan sighed. "No, Dad, I don't." He walked out of his room, leaving his dad to his own devices.

**The Next Day**

"He played it for _how_ long?"

Stan looked at Kyle. "About thirteen hours straight. I'm surprised he didn't beat it outright."

"Don't you think he's getting a bit… obsessed?" asked Butters.

"Yeah, I am, and that's what's really scaring me."

"What're you going to do about it?" inquired Kenny.

Stan sighed and slumped down in his seat. "I don't know, that's the whole thing."

"Why don't you just hide it from him?" Kyle asked.

"I tried that, but he tore my room apart until he found it."

"Wouldn't it be bad if someone stole it?" asked Cartman.

"Yeah, bad for me, but worse for my dad," replied Stan.

"Let's do it."

Everyone looked over at Butters. "What… did you just say?"

"One of us could 'borrow' the game, then Stan could just tell his dad that someone broke in and stole it."

Everyone was about to object, but after further thought, they agreed that it was actually a damned good idea. ("One of the first that Butters has ever come up with," added Cartman.)

"Who's going to do it, though?" asked Kenny.

"I will," volunteered Kyle. "I could 'steal' it when I come over to your place today to study."

No one could come up with a better plan, so they agreed to let that one be.

**The Day After That**

"Did you do it?" asked Kenny.

"Yup, sure did," replied Kyle. "Just stuck the whole damn thing in my bookbag and walked right out with it."

"What'd your dad say?" asked Butters.

"Oh, he was crushed, just like I thought he'd be," said Stan. "But hopefully he'll get over it soon. I think he was actually getting addicted to it."

"Just like you and I were, at one point," said Kyle.

Stan laughed. "Yeah, maybe this was cosmic payback or some bullshit like that."

They all had a good laugh at that one.

Just then, Stan's phone vibrated. He picked it up and answered it.

"Hello?"

A pause, then: "You did _what_?" After a few more moments, he hung up the phone and looked over at his friends, a look of dread on his face.

"What happened?" asked Kenny.

"That was my dad," replied Stan. "Apparently I was right about him getting over it soon."

"Why do you say that?" asked Butters.

Stan looked at them grimly. "He just bought Rock Band 2."


End file.
